When Love Starts To Fade
When love starts to fade
There is no going back
The things that unite you
Weaken and crack
You wonder what happened
To turn things to dust
Was it me? Was it her?
Was it just lack of trust?
The truth is that nothing
Can hold it in place
Once the love starts to fade
And the end gathers pace
Love has four seasons
Spring is the first
To be with each other
An insatiable thirst
In summer contentment
And comfortable ease
But the passion is cooling
And soon it will freeze
By autumn the feelings
That excited you most
Are fading and dying
Love's becoming a ghost
The winter is cold
So harsh and unkind
The love that you shared
Turns to hate in your mind
But time is a healer
You will love again
Maybe not so intensely
As you did then
Is the pain of the winter
Worth the joy of the spring?
Your only reminder
A tarnished gold ring
Each broken promise
That you both have made
Tears a piece from your heart
When love starts to fade
The Beneficial Qualities Of Beer
Beer is lovely
Beer is great
I love to have
A pint or eight
JD and coke
Is also nice
Especially with
A lot of ice
Don't like whisky
Makes me sick
Tastes bloody awful
Has a nasty kick
Guinness is alright
Makes you drowsy
And in the morning
You feel lousy
The crack is good
When drinking beer
And when you're drunk
You have no fear
Life without beer
Would be a bore
The barman is waiting
Go get some more!
A Rose For You
A rose I never gave you
A word that went unsaid
Regrets I'll hold forever
Till the moment I am dead
I loved you as I never have
Or ever will again
The things we took for granted
Have left us with such pain
A heart that's torn to pieces
A dream that's unfulfilled
Memories are all that's left
And lives we must rebuild
I'll always love the best of you
And soon forget the worst
I won't regret a moment
Alas, our love was cursed
A Pint With Shane MacGowan
I'd like to have a pint someday
Just Shane MacGowan and me
He's rich so I would let him pay
We'd have a pint or three
We'd crawl round all of Dublins pubs
Till we could drink no more
We'd have a large cheeseburger
Then go and drink some more
And maybe he would sing a song
Sally McLennane?
He'd have our feet a tapping
As only that man can
And when the night was over
We'd find some place to sleep
Anywhere would do us fine
As long as it was cheap
I'd tell my mates about that night
Time and time again
A pint with Shane MacGowan
It would be quite insane!
R.I.P.
The end of an era
I feel really bad
My Zippo is knackered
And it's making me sad
You had it engraved
"Forever, always"
It meant such a lot
In so many ways
Each time I lit up
I thought about you
But it can't be repaired
Not a thing I can do
I've kept it here with me
Right from the start
My Zippo is broken
Along with my heart
Incantations
At a crossroads after midnight
By the light of fullest moon
I'd sell my soul to have your heart
Resurrecting Brigadoon
I'd conjure up a thousand ghosts
Invoke the darkest spell
Face demons gladly, for your love
Confront the beasts of Hell
Hold rituals in the eerie woods
With scary voodoo potions
I'd sacrifice a case of beer
To capture your emotions
I'd consort with fearsome mystics
And risk a life long curse
The thought of life without you
No witchcraft could be worse
Tobacco Ode
Your pungent smell is everywhere
Odious weed that blights my life
I wish that I could give you up
You cause argument and strife
I wish Sir Walter Raleigh had not
Brought you to our shore
With the money that I spend on you
I could buy so much more
The stench of laden ashtrays
Is frightfully obscene
Ash upon the carpet
Never should be seen
You make me anti-social
You make me feel unwanted
I'd give you up but what's the point
I need you when I roll a joint!
Waves
Waves crash upon this lonely shore
Where once, inseparable, we lay
We shared our finest moments here
Shared love, that's gone astray
The cries of seabirds fill the air
The stench of saline spray
A refuge from the trials of life
So near, yet far away
No love today in this bleak place
No laughing, smiles or kisses
Just loneliness and solitude
Regrets and hopes and wishes
Insanity Rules
Some think I am eccentric
Some say I'm barking mad
I'd rather be a nutter
Than normal, bad or sad
There may be missing tiles
On my hypothetical roof
I'm certainly rather different
This garbage is the proof
My circles aren't concentric
Do you really think I care?
The square on my hypotenuse
Doesn't seem to be quite there
I listen to the Grateful Dead
The Alabama 3
The wierdness and the music
Sure appeals to me
I write some crazy poems
I write some good ones too
The sad, the mad, the funny ones
They're all inspired by you
West End Stumble
Crawling down the old Kings Road
From Sloane Square, going west
A pint in every boozer
Can't remember which was best
Slung out of the Chelsea Drugstore
An IRA bomb scare
Turned out to be some buggers lunch
Underneath a chair
Stumbled into a gay bar
(Accidentally!)
Swilled our pints off double quick
Embarrassing, potentially
At Worlds End, near the gasworks
Last call, the Water Rat
Stayed there till last orders
Night over, that was that
Delusion
One day you say you love me
The next you say you don't
You say you'll try to work it out
And then you say you won't
Can't handle this uncertainty
Don't need to have this stress
What used to be a perfect dream
Is now a tangled mess
Too much complication
Interference and intrusion
To think that we could be as one
Was always an illusion
Don't ever want to hurt you
Can't stand to see you cry
Our love has no tomorrow
It's over, let it die
Enigmatic
Temperamental, moody, highly strung
Volatile and unpredictable
Slightly paranoid, perhaps
Usually quite delectable!
Sometimes so happy, often nuts
A stressed, explosive mix
A chaotic combination
That no shrink could ever fix
Drinking, swearing, far too much
Leaving in a huff
Whatever is obtainable
Never seems to be enough
Before you go off on a tantrum
And start to scream and shout
Chill, be calm, relax, me dear
It's me I'm on about!
Under The Influences
Garcia, The Airplane, Brian Wilson
Inspirational psychotics
May not have left us with a song
Had it not been for narcotics
The genius within their heads
The product of distress
Needed stimulation
To guarantee success
Words and phrases that appear
That come down from the air
Would not have seen the light of day
Were it not for their nightmare
Troubled minds are most creative
They hold the darkest fears
The products of our self-destruction
Words that last for years
Au Revoir?
The last goodbye, last warm embrace
Then comes the final curtain
All we'll have is memories
The future? Cooled, uncertain
Our love, a fiery sunset
Of a perfect summer day
Now it's as if we'd never met
Must it end this way?
As if we'd never held each other
Never shared sweet dreams
Perfection once, perhaps
Love's never what it seems
Our adoration and devotion
Melts before our eyes
Affection, worship and emotion
At this moment wilts and dies
Behind the mask of tearful sorrow
Do you really want to go?
Is this for the best? Or is it madness?
I suppose we'll never know
Rave New World
From the bars of San Francisco
To the dives of West L.A.
Drinking our way through California
First trip to the U.S. of A.
Hired a car, from Hertz I think
White Pontiac Bonneville
Five or six litre monster
Bit sluggish going uphill
Two days spent in Vegas
Never saw the sun
Spent our time in Caesars Palace
Roulette, good beer, great fun
Passing through Death Valley
Never been so hot
Took a case of Michelob
Drank the bloody lot
A night in Old El Paso
Mexican cuisine
Bet we were the drunkest Brits
The place had ever seen
San Antonio, Texas
Home of the Alamo
Partied by the riverside
Sup up! It's time to go
Off to New Orleans next day
To the French Quarter we're heading
Bourbon Street boozers are really cool
Saw a proper Cajun wedding
Took a trip down 'Old Man River'
(The Mississippi to you!)
A mini paddle steamer
Had a bar with a pretty good view
On to Blocton, Alabama
Paused to see my folks
Dry county, you can't get no beer
Not a funny joke!
Crossed the county line
Several times that week
Just to get a pint
Salvation for to seek
Just as a matter of interest
Lynchburg, Tennessee
Where they make Jack Daniels
Is dry as well, you see
That would be a nightmare
Surrounded by the stuff
Not allowed to drink it
Man, that's really tough
Through the swamps of Florida
On to Miami Beach
Plush hotel by the ocean side
Night life in easy reach
Then it's off to London Town
In a Panam DC3
Stepping out at Heathrow
Back to reality
Missed out many places
Can't recall a few
Will have to go back sometime
I'd suggest that you do too!
Seagulls
Why does the mirror steam up
Just as you start shaving
Makes me very angry
Gets me rantin' and a raving
And why does porridge always stick
To the bottom of the pan
You get a similar problem with
A cheese and onion flan
Don't walk under seagulls
They crap upon your head
Don't drive when you're well drunk
And never smoke in bed!
Until The End
Would have loved you till the cows came home
Till hell began to freeze
Till pigs were flying overhead
And kids ate sprouts and peas
Until the sky was yellow
And the sun a shade of blue
When oceans turned to solid ice
I'd still be loving you
When we had sat and counted
Every grain of sand
I'd still adore you just as much
And want to hold your hand
But they're just dreams that won't come true
No longer worth a dime
I'll love you and I'll miss you
Until the end of time
Total Memory Loss 
(Dedicated to Aly, who doesn't drink 15 pints of Carling! At least I don't think she does!)
Fifteen pints of Carling
Has a rather dramatic effect
The night you planned turns out to be
Not what you'd expect
Wishing for your dream girl
To walk into the bar
She didn't come, so what the hell
Let's have another jar
Tomorrow is another day
There's no point in complaining
Can't get any worse
At least it isn't raining
You drink cos you remember
You're drinking to forget
You're thinking of the one you lost
And the one that you ain't met
Who gives a damn
Who gives a toss
Life's a bitch, so go for it
Total memory loss
Tattoos
I've two tattoos about my person
Dedicated to you, my dear
A single rose upon my heart
And a dragon on my rear
You made me feel so happy
And then you made me sad
But the clouds on my horizon
Have lifted, aren't you glad?
'Never trust a woman'
Sang the Grateful Dead
And in some certain cases
Truer words were never said
I know that statement isn't right
Not every girl's a horror
I hope I find a canny one
Tonight, maybe t'morra
Split Personality
There's a black cat, name of Smokey
Upon my window ledge
She spends a lot of time there
She just fell off the edge!
Spends twenty hours a day asleep
Goes berserk the other four
Don't let your foot hang out of bed
She'll make it very sore!
She doesn't go out very much
Never brings home mice
Maybe the mice are smarter than her
Or maybe she's just nice
She's highly entertaining
Sometimes such a pest
She's scratched the sofa half to bits
I'm not terribly impressed!
Wouldn't swap her for the world
She's a gem and no mistake
She's gorgeous when she's sleeping
And a pain when she's awake!
Northumberland County
(for the benefit of the Northumbria Tourist Board)
Way up beside the border
There's a green and pleasant land
Why it's not more popular
I'll never understand
The Isle of Lindisfarne
(Cradle of Christianity)
The pubs stay open all night
Bringing danger to your sanity
St. Aidan and St. Cuthbert
Spread their word up there
The Vikings came and wrecked the place
Stripped the Priory bare
Down along the coast a ways
Bamburgh Castle's quite a sight
Ain't been there for a month or two
But this weekend I might
The walk to Dunstanburgh
(Head due North from Craster)
Got drenched the last time , half way there
What a damn disaster
Warkworth is a pretty place
Got some canny pubs as well
Hired a boat on the Coquet
In the drink I fell
Spent some time in Rothbury
In the Simonside Hills it sits
The folks are rather wierd
But I love the place to bits
Had some wicked nights in Amble
Seahouses, Beadnell too
The last trips were the very best
Cos I was there with you
Friends R Us
I'll love you if you let me
Be yours, for all our days
I'll make amends for failing you
In so many different ways
I'll be your friend, your lover
Keep this bond, that's you and me
Whatever is achievable
Whatever's meant to be
Maybe I'll always wish for more
To go wherever we can go
Not to see your face, your smile
Would be too hard a blow
So love me if you want to
If that's what's in your heart
Don't let despair destroy us
When we are forced apart
Be my soul-mate, be a friend
Be whatever you can be
Ours is a special union
I don't want to be set free
Quand les debuts d'amour se fanent
Quand les debuts d'amour se fanent
Il n'y a aucun dos allant
Les choses qui vous unissent
Affaiblissez-vous et fendez
Vous demandez ce qui s'est produit
Pour tourner des choses a la poussiere
Etait-il moi? Etait-il elle?
Etait-ce manque juste de confiance?
La verite est que rien
Peut la tenir en place
Une fois que les debuts d'amour se fanent
Et l'extremite prend la vitesse
L'amour a quatre saisons
Le ressort est le premier
Pour etre avec l'un 'l'autre
Une soif insatiable
Dans le contentement d'ete
Et facilite confortable
Mais la passion se refroidit
Et bientot elle gelera
Par automne les sentiments
Cela vous a excite plus
Se fanent et meurent
Amour devenant un fantome
L'hiver est froid
Si dur et dur
L'amour que vous avez partage
Tours a detester dans votre esprit
Mais le temps est un guerisseur
Vous aimerez encore
Peut-etre pas aussi intensement
Comme le faisiez alors vous
Est la douleur de l'hiver
En valeur la joie du ressort?
Votre seulement rappel
Un anneau terni d'or
Chaque promesse cassee
Que vous tous les deux avez fait
Dechire un morceau de votre coeur
Quand les debuts d'amour se fanent
(The translation is probably terrible but I think it looks ok! There's something about French!) 
I've been challenged to write one in Gaelic next! That should be fun)
Caoch Olta
Graim thu
Cronaim thu
Gra mo chroi
Go siorai
An dtuigeann tu?
Ta bron orm
Ba dheas casadh leat
Go maire sibh bhur saol nua
Biodh la maith agat
Ta tu glan as do mheabhair
Go n-ithe an diabhal do chuid caloga arbhair
Go scriossa galar togalach do dhiosca crua
Tabhair dom dha phionta leanna le do thoil
Ar mhaith leat ceann eile?
Ba mhaith!
Caith siar e agus na lig anair a
Beagan agus a ra go maith
Ta me are meisce
Ta me ar buille
Scileann fion firinne!
(n.b. it's Irish Gaelic, not Scottish, in case anybody wants to figure it out!) Enough of this avant-garde bollix! Although I might try one in Swahili or Zulu next.....hmmm)
Poa Kichizi
Sijiziki vizuri leo
Nilikudhani dhanabu kumbe
Mdhaniaye ndiye kumbe siye
Nipe radhi kuishi na watu kazi
Hata ukinichukia la kweli nitakwambia
Ulimacho huvunacho
Barabara refu haikosi kona
Mwanamke mzuri hakosi kasoro
Simba mwendapole ndie mla nyama
Asiyekujua hakuthamini
Moyo wa kupenda hauna subira
Majuto ni mjukuu
Hadi tuonane tena
Lala salama
Kwaheri
Tafadhali nataka bia baridi
Ngapi?
Nyingi. Kumi!
Afya!
Nimefurahi!
O.k. That's definitely the last one. Maybe. Too much like hard work. It's Swahili by the way. I couldn't find enough Zulu words.
Oh no! I have to do one in Russian and one in Chinese!
Rebellion 
She didn't like tattoos
Or people who smoke
Didn't like ear-rings
Being worn by a bloke
Never ever got drunk
Sipped soda and wine
For about fifteen minutes
We got along fine
She wanted to change me
Make me normal, I guess
Do I wish I'd conformed?
I couldn't care less
"You'll have to stop drinking
That's where it's at"
That's what she told me
So I said, **** that!
Been inactive for a while.......nothing to do with spending a while in an Irish bar in Bruges.......so here's a new one........(nowt to do with Bruges!)
Dutch Treat
You can roll up a joint
While you're having a beer
In the cafes of Old Amsterdam
They're pretty laid back
In a sensible way
The good folk of Old Amsterdam
The cops are quite friendly
And very low key
In the streets of Old Amsterdam
You can see naughty shows
Almost anything goes
In the rough end of Old Amsterdam
You can drink through the night
Cos the bars never close
In the alleys of Old Amsterdam
And if you like culture
There's a painting or two
In the museums of Old Amsterdam
Even pushers are friendly
Don't give you no grief
In the doorways of Old Amsterdam
It's cleaner than London
The beer's cheaper too
In the boozers of Old Amsterdam
The locals ride bikes
Wherever they go
On the pathways of Old Amsterdam
Saw Nelson Mandela
In Dam Square, canny fella
One day in Old Amsterdam
They sell lots of tulips
And souvenir clogs
In the markets of Old Amsterdam
You see lots of bridges
And all kind of boats
On the canals of Old Amsterdam
Might get a cheap flight
And go there tonight
To the city of Old Amsterdam
And when I come home
Might book up for Prague
Even wilder than Old Amsterdam!
On a similar note...........
Rivers Of Guinness 
The black stuff was flowing like water
In the Irish bar down there in Bruges
The craic was really pretty good
In that cool Gaelic gaff in Old Bruges
The barmaid, she was a princess
From the best Irish tavern in Bruges
She gave us some smiles and some peanuts
In the Paddies pub somewhere in Bruges
The band was quite good, allegedly
In the best little boozer in Bruges
We didn't quite manage to see them
In the evening time, out there in Bruges
Cos we drank all the day and were starting to sway
On that monstrous soiree in Bruges
Next time we'll turn out somewhat later
So we hear the fine music in Bruges
Or maybe we'll not, who gives a jot
As long as we're drinking in Bruges
A stroll round the town in the morning
See the cultural highlights of Bruges
Then it's back to the Celtic drinking den
For a Guinness, or ten, down in Bruges!
Remember
In fields of scarlet poppies
The ghostly spirits roam
Cut down in their thousands
Never more to return home
At Arras and at Paschendale
The Somme and Suvla Bay
A forgotten generation fell beneath
The machine gun's deadly spray
A fight for King and Country
For a mile of blood-soaked soil
Their reward was unemployment
Held hostage by their toil
The fools who led such futile quest
In pursuit of ill-judged glory
Damn their souls forever
The world shall know this story
The youth of many countries
Believing patriotic lies
Their life-blood feeds the flowers
As each one falls and dies
A war to end all warfare
Yet still they fall in other lands
The poor will fight the battles
Until someone understands
For what did the sons of mothers die?
What lessons have been learned?
This conflict has to run it's course
Before the tide is turned
This page is pretty full now so I guess this a good place to call a halt. I'll put new stuff on guest spot, or maybe add another page.
'Will you meet me on Clare Island?'
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